Many years ago, a friend of mine greeted me at the church I attended. Every Sunday, I would see Virginia and her husband greeting the congregation as they entered the sanctuary. Eventually, Virginia and her husband stepped out of this role, due to her husband’s failing health. She was looking for a Women’s Small Group Bible Study, and I invited her the study I was currently facilitating. Virginia was a good ten to fifteen years older than the women in our group, and her mature faith and wisdom showed up each week.
During one of our studies, Virginia used a phrase I had never heard before. This phrase she told us was common during WWII with women who not only worked at home, but also held down many of the jobs men usually did – and those men were away in Europe fighting in the war. She relayed to us that with the added duties of raising children, working, and being the homemaker, which was common at the time, laundry often took a back seat. Have you ever left your laundry in the washer overnight or even a couple of days due to a busy schedule? When you open the washer, you are immediately overwhelmed by the nasty odor of soured laundry. You must start all over again.
This revelation began a rich conversation amongst the women in the group. You see, when we sit and stew over whatever is bothering us, we go over and over it again and again, we are literally soaking in our own misery, instead of doing something about it.
Over time, as we are sitting, we eventually become “Sour.” Our attitude sours. Our character sours. Our thinking becomes negative. We are just unpleasant to be around, and people will begin to avoid us.
Take a look at your own life at this moment and see if you may be: Sitting – Soaking, and on your way to being SOUR!
It may seem like an impossible task to remedy this cycle, but it is solvable. How, you may wonder? Well, let’s look at your “triggers,” which put you in that sit-soak-sour cycle.
Let’s look at two scenarios: 1- I am in that cycle right now, and 2 – How can I not get into this mess in the first place?
1 – I am in that cycle right now. Think back [if you can] to what set you off in the first place. Got it? Okay, now, were you expecting an outcome that didn’t take place? Were you hoping for a different experience than the one that unfolded? Perhaps someone’s words hurt you pretty badly, and you are still repeating those words over and over again in your mind.
Let me ask you, who is this about you or the other person or the experience? This is cultivating a negative mindset, and my friend, you have been fixating and making your brain like cement. Unless you change your mindset, you will never get out of this thinking. The only person who is negatively benefiting is Y-O-U.
When a person is “SOURED” – it is of their own desire and making. No one does this to you. You do it to yourself.
The change has to come from inside of you!
2 – How can I not get into this mess in the first place? If this is you, your mindset needs to be one of evaluating each experience or expectation in your life. This type of mindset usually happens with “Perfectionist.” You know the type. Remember the Bible story of Mary and Martha? When you place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others there will come a time when everything will go south. There has been only one “Perfect” life lived on earth, and that was Jesus Christ.
In this life, we will have trouble. Satan prowls around like a lion looking for someone to trap and trigger. Do not be deceived. This mindset is not from God. It is from the pit of hell.
I encourage you to read your Bible, go to a Bible Teaching Church, and join a Bible Small Group and protect yourself from the flaming arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6:10 – 19 is a passage where you will learn to put on the “Full Armor of God.” When you do this daily, you protect yourself.
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janice@janicebastanicoaching.com
8914 Collina Ct.
Granite Bay, CA 95746
908-229-3797
www.janicebastanicoaching.com
www.johnmaxwellgroup.com/janicebastani
