Look around where you are currently placed in your community, family, business, your relationships, or wherever you find yourself in a leadership position. How are you behaving in these many roles and places we move in and out of every day? Are you a “Puppet Master,” who pulls strings and expects everyone you are above in position to just do, act, say, and believe whatever you tell them to do, act, say and believe?
Are you behaving like a leader who seeks the ideas, cooperation, and solutions from those who have a vested interest in the success of your community, family, business, team, country, or wherever your relationship happens to be?
The two scenarios eventually end up in two very different places: The first ends in everyone losing with no resolution, no way forward, no accomplishment of the mission or reaching the vision. The second will end in resolution, a plan of how to accomplish the goals, mission and vision and the group you are in a relationship will take ownership of these said goals, mission, and vision and be proud of their accomplishment.
Have you placed your team in a box? You must create a path for a relationship, a path for growth.
- Talk frequently, do not sit in isolation, get out, and in the mix of your town, your employees, your community. What you think is going on and what is reality is woefully different.
- Listen more than you talk. What you will hear, will be revealing to you.
- Build those relationships without asking for something in return. Make it clear you are not looking for just a person’s skill set but rather how their thinking and behavior has an impact on their corner of the world and expands out like a pebble in a still body of water.
- Everyone must “GROW” every day. Granted some days, it will feel like scaling Mt. Everest, and other’s growth seems to be at a snail’s pace; and guess what…both are normal.
- John Maxwell says, “Everything rises and falls on leadership” He’s right. The day you discover the secret of leadership is the day everything will begin to improve. How are you developing the leadership skills of your people?
- Every leader must be” intentional” about leading and growing leaders. This requires self-reflection, putting aside one’s ego, looking at the long-term view, and remembering that a leader never crosses the finish line alone – he crosses with the whole team.
We are watching firsthand a “reality gap” in our nation. It is not happening only in Washington, DC, but in almost every business segment, every small town, our communities large and small, our state government and in our families. This is not a new phenomenon. We are the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water, and we seem to have become unconscious.
We, as a people, must have a Mindshift in every area of our lives. Our brains cannot hold on to two competing concepts and remain balanced; one will always win. Our brains were not designed to do two things at once.
I challenge you this week to watch someone who is rooted in two dichotomies and watch their body language. Our bodies are very telling. While our minds are spinning the tale, we want to prevail; our bodies are giving telltale signs that these competing concepts are taking their toll on us physically.
Microexpressions of a very calm demeanor vs. a person who fidgets, they blink less and how you feel internally about what you are saying, anxiety brings on an increase in blinking. Speaking of eyes, are they dilated which indicates tension and extreme concentration. Direct eye contact means a person is comfortable in their position whether lying or truthful. Do you notice a flash of micro-anger?
I will leave you with this famous line from a little-known poem by Walter Scott called “Marmion:” “Oh! What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”
Ponder on this.
I’d like to hear from you!
Janice Bastani Coaching offers customized solutions for you and your team to resource and equips you to be a “Great Leader.” When you are ready, we are here to help, send an email to begin the process: firstname.lastname@example.org .
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