Have you ever felt like the orbits in our solar system? I mean, have you discovered that what you felt was happening and true, turned out to be something entirely different? I know I sure have in my life with my family, even when the children were growing up and then into adulthood, something we astray. A friend of mine and I were comparing notes on this topic and were both experiencing the same “Family Orbital Effect”! [Yep, that’s a new term I just coined.
What many others and I have noticed, and been bewildered by is the insertion of “technology” being the culprit of why our family orbits seem to have been displaced. Maybe you can relate to this scenario: Your kids, adults, or even teens are always on their phones texting, instant messaging, and sending furiously messages and making plans and gossiping, and they simply forget who they have sent what to and whom they made plans with and then there is this disconnect as to why someone or something didn’t show up or happen. And to me it is getting worse.
We can talk to our friends and commiserate with the same frustrations, but it seems as if the communication link is lost; this can and will cause a great burden on one of the parties who is not in the loop.
Everyone today is so caught up in the little drama of their own orbit, they do not stop considering whose orbit they may be disrupting. I know it is not deliberate, but at some point, the orbit needs to reconnect around what is important.
When this goes on for too long, havoc and confusion raise their ugly heads, and someone is about to be disappointed. What is the solution for this orbit disruption?
For those of you who have not had a major disruption in your family orbits yet, might I suggest a “foundational baseline” of expectations regarding phone, text, messaging, and instant messaging protocol? That may seem extreme, but it is just like having a “safe word” that the family uses in case of an emergency. If you start early with the first cell phone, you may have a chance to get a family protocol in place, and when it is respected over time, there will be no confusion or family orbital disruption.
The other caveat I have noticed is that there are things that people want to keep secret, or when there is a family squabble, one person doesn’t want the other to know what they are saying, and feeling about the situation, hurtful behavior, or something said that triggers something deep inside of them. It happens, and it is a normal reaction. If you think about our small universe, someone must be the SUN in the middle and bring the sides together like an arbiter, and smooth things out and reset the orbits back in place.
My friend and I have concluded that once your children become adults and they have children, it is a chaotic situation all in this Family Orbital Effect Space. The best we can do is to text or email all parties in the family orbit and get consensus on what is going on, when, where, and how I fit in as the parent.
How do you manage these situations?
janice@janicebastanicoaching.com
8914 Collina Ct.
Granite Bay, CA 95746
908-229-3797
www.janicebastanicoaching.com
www.johnmaxwellgroup.com/janicebastani
