Last month, in June, we discussed what the three Rs of discontent are and how to avoid them. Just as a refresher, they are “Revenge,” “Retaliation,” and “Restitution.” I hope that June 2025 blog gave you cause to pause and think about how you show up each day and live out each day in terms of your mindset, your word, and your actions in every aspect of your personal life and your professional life.
This month, I would like to talk about how you can take a different path in your rote behavior and thinking. You may look at the three “R’s” at the top of this blog and think these are religious terms. Yes, they can be, but they are also words that heal those wounds deep inside you, whether you admit they are there or not.
When I begin to coach a client, I ascertain where they are in life from a mental maturity aspect. From a behavioral perspective and see if the words coming out of their mouths align with what is sitting before me. Here’s a heads up – most of the time, they usually do not. Yes, it is possible to fool and hold onto and act out the mask or façade the client hopes to show, but this is exceedingly difficult, and it is exhausting, and eventually, a crack develops, and the real person comes tumbling out. I give that person a great deal of grace because they need it, and it goes to the three “R’s” above.
At the end of our contract, I rewind our first interaction and remind the client of what they just started out with – “The Lie” about who they really are. And then, when they can no longer keep up the façade, the client “Repents” – this one act is so liberating. The client soon realizes that the burden of the lie of who they are in life releases a very heavy anchor they have been dragging behind them forever.
Just because you believe a lie doesn’t make it a “Truth.”
It is still a lie.
There is an adage that goes like this: “When a person repents, they are set free.” There is another one, which is actually a great book entitled: “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten!” These two phrases are so true. If you lie, cheat, or steal, it is best to tell the truth and see what happens. Sometimes you will get a “thank-you for telling the truth.” While at other times, you will experience negative consequences for the act of lying, cheating, or stealing. In ALL cases: YOU are 100% responsible for the choices you make and subsequently ALL the CONSEQUENCES [both good and bad]! And that says it all about the power of the first “R” – “REPENT!”
Let’s move on to our next “R” – “Restore.” The outcome of repentance can come in many forms, and some are good, and some are painfully bad. Let’s look at the good for now. In many cases, the person who is the one who gives “grace” and then “restores” you to the place you once held is deeply hurt by your words and actions. Most of the time, this hurt is short-lived lived, and that individual wants to put you back in the good graces you once held. This is a true gift to you, and how much they honor and respect you when you repent for your wrongdoing.
Finally, let’s look at the third “R” – “REDEEM.” This is a term used in the Bible, and it means so much that I thought we should discuss it here. When a person puts you back in the position you once occupied, for example: friend, colleague, peer, employee, family member, and so on. In the dictionary, it implies: to get back, to be free from what distresses or harms, to release blame, or to release from a debt. Isn’t that an amazing place to be in life?
Do not take redemption lightly, and do not commit the same lie, cheat, or steal again, or you may never get your place back in the person’s life or in society at large.
This is the conclusion of our two-month study on the six” R’s.” I hope you have gained some deep insight into how you act, what you say, and how you come across those you work with and live with.
If you are looking for a mentor or coach to help you with your microphone, send me an email, and we can discuss the effective use of that microphone in your hands!
janice@janicebastanicoaching.com
8914 Collina Ct.
Granite Bay, CA 95746
908-229-3797
www.janicebastanicoaching.com
www.johnmaxwellgroup.com/janicebastani
