As women we carry the load and loads and burdens of others. Whether they are our burdens or not we freely pick them up and try to fix things so that we can have peace and an uneasy harmony. Women do this in their professional lives. Women do this in their private lives. We do it with our relationships and in our own heads. Why do you think we do it? Why do you seek that harmony?
In our professional lives no matter where we reside at the top of the ladder or anywhere in between we guard our territory much like animals in nature. No, I am not calling you an animal. We each stake out territory which we tend to think we can control and patrol. Many of us work in a cubicle and we have personalized it to tell a story of who we are, what we love and care for and what is important to us. We make be in charge of a group of people, we make be a member of a group. We form bonds and relationships and the group work takes on a “status” of its own. When it is somehow diminished we become fighters to rectify the whole perception that our work must not be good and so we must not be good as a group and if the group isn’t any good and doesn’t have good ideas then I must not be any good either. It is a downward spiral So how do we maintain a positive and a harmony for ourselves and our group?
Our private lives are not very different. By our nature we as women are nurturers we want for our lives to be lived in peaceful harmony so that the day to day act of living can be carried out. That daily living looks different for every woman on earth. We all do have some basics that we as women want to meet by the end of each day. What are the things that you must have done in order to rest your head on the pillow at night? Does every single thing on your to do list have to be done? Or can you go to bed with dishes in the sink and clothes drying in the dryer? Maybe your needs are more basic than that. Your children need to be fed, everyone needs a bath, a roof over your head and safety may be all that you need. Do your animals have enough hay for the night and grain to eat so that in the morning they will provide you with enough milk for your children’s breakfast? Life looks very different to each of us.
What I have noticed is, when a threat comes between a mother and her child or spouse or family it raises her antenna and she has friction well up within her core.
The same is true in our professional lives. When we perceive a threat to our status, our work, or coworkers this causes friction and we spring into action to rectify the situation. A women must decide to be passive, or she must spring into action. Most (not all), but most of us spring into action.
We each have limitations. We often do not know the limits of our limitations until someone close to us is threaten then we see what we are really made of. Each of these occurrences cause us to gain knowledge and deepens our sense of intuition so that when a similar set of circumstances presents itself again we can deflect the perceived or real danger.
What was your last frictional moment? What did you do? What did you learn?