So here we are in the throws of the holiday season and let’s face it we all (no matter how together we are) have days when everything goes wrong. Did you ever have one of those days? Well I did recently! It wasn’t just one thing, oh no, it was a cascade of events that no one could predict and I am so very glad that there were witnesses present to see how I handle the whole mess!
I am not going to go into the details at all. What I will tell you is how I did not react to what was swirling around me. You can take a cue from this behavior and then just give it a try ONCE and see what happens.
We all place enormous value on things, on events and on people and the experiences we want them to have when we are the “host & hostess” . We sometimes get so caught up in these things that when something goes awry we become unglued. We first become aware of the problem. Then we reflect (this happens in a millisecond and we go into emotional overload) and that is generally where we stay and we become the big wet towel on the rest of the experience.
What would happen if we just let go of what went wrong or didn’t happen to what we had intended? If we hold the entire experience with an “open hand and palm up”? You could say to yourself, “…this holiday season I am going to let go of the value that I place on having everyone have a good time and be 100% satisfied with their experience with me and our family…”
Just writing this out or saying this out loud releases enormous amounts of negative energy that holds us down from enjoying the experience.
Let’s say that your daughter-in-law and son came home for the holidays and brought their new puppy. He promptly ran under your Christmas tree and several of your prized ornaments fell off and broke. How could you react? What is more important? The ornaments or your children’s feelings? If you react and start to scream and yell and cry, what experience are you creating? If your children profusely apologize and they offer to replace or pay for the ornaments, what experience are they creating? What else could be your reaction?
When we go to the next phase after the awareness and then reflection, we come to illumination which means that we let go of the whole thing. Yes, we are sad that the ornaments got broken and we allow that feeling for a brief moment, but then we let go. What is the most imporatant thing here?
This is just like when your toddler began to pull himself up and started to put his fingers in the light socket and grab your nice breakable treasurers, what did you do? You put them away and you baby proofed your home for several years. This is where illumination and the next step motivation come into play. You will know that there might be breakage and you either put the precious items away or you let go of their emotional value.
If you think you cannot do this, then you are holding on too hard to the emotional value of the item. Take a photo and write the story of why this is so meaningful and precious to you and look and read it. Sometimes it really takes time (like decades) to realize that it isn’t about “The Thing”.