Over the past couple of blog posts we have been talking and exploring what happens when we are stuck or things don’t go the way we want them to or we get entangled in the trap of the “yammering internal roommate” in our heads. Let’s move beyond this for now and get you someplace where you can really see how you can take control and kick the unwanted mental roommate to the curb.
When you become aware that you are in a place where you are not in forward motion ask yourself these questions:
- What am I suppose to learn here from this experience?
- How many times have I failed to see, to hear, and to learn the lesson?
Do you answers surprise you?
One of the things I find happens in my office with clients is they are carrying on a continual conversation in their heads. This conversation is non-stop, all consuming and completely draining and counterproductive in every area of their lives. Stop talking. Stop ruminating and trying to solve it in your head. This just creates a vicious circle of double-mindedness and that will put you in a downward spiral.
We become so puffed up with pride we think we know all the answers, without knowing what the question is. Everyone, yes EVERYONE has an opinion and every one of us believes our opinion is the wises and correct because we give ourselves too much credit. We voice any stray thought that comes into our mind immediately and don’t stop to think what we are actually saying.
Think about the last time one those scenarios played out in your life. I’m sure it was yesterday. What was actually solved by all that mindless chatter? Who went away feeling good about the conversation? Who took notes, because the wealth of knowledge via opinion was so deep?
Where were you in the conversation? Were you focused and out front, in the center of things, the decision maker, did you have something to say in every minute of the conversation?
Next time, I encourage you to take a wee step back and just listen to what is playing out before you. Really watch the group dynamic which is going on. Say nothing. I assure you no one will notice. Be an extreme observer for this event. Watch the darting eyes and the turning heads and the furious texting that goes on. Are those people you are with, gulping down drinks and food with no thought to what is happening?
This is mindless behavior and we do it all day long. It is like our “default”. Now that you have this new awareness, go back up to the top of this post and read those questions again.
When we begin to be a real observer to our lives and in our lives, our lives look very different.