Look at this brick wall on the left. I want you to just let you mind see those bricks and think about each one like a warm winter sweater which protects you from the chill of late fall. How many times would you say you pull out your sweater, just in case from Sept. 21st through Dec. 1st?
Look at this brick wall on the left. Start at the bottom and think about each time you pull out your heavy winter coat and put it on to stave off the bitter winter cold. How many times do you think you do this from December 1st to say March 1st?
Spring arrives on March 21st (give or take) and you look ahead to warmer weather and putting those sweaters and heavy coats away until next season. You begin to enjoy the warmth of the sun on your arms, you turn your face sun ward to absorb that warmth and let your toes out for a breath of fresh air.
Now, what if I told you that every time you feel disappointed you put a brick in place to protect yourself. Every time you have an outcome that is not what you were expecting you lay another brick to help shield yourself. Every failed relationship ends with another brick put into place. Someone else got the promotion or pay raise so you put up another row of bricks. You gained 5 pounds so you put up a couple of more bricks. Your finances are in bad shape and you can’t make the minimum payments this month, you lay another row of bricks. Your home is declining due to your work schedule and no time to really clean and take care of the minor repairs, you throw up a couple more bricks. You can’t remember the last time you had any real fun, another brick goes in place.
I bet with hesitation you can recall and write on each sticky note on each brick what occurred in your life that caused you to begin to wall yourself off and protect yourself from the bitter disappointment of your life experience, thus far? Am I right? You know about a decade ago, I actually sat down at my computer and journaled about my own brick wall and I did a chronological pictorial of what I looked like in photos. Those photos didn’t lie about what was going on inside of me because you could see it in the photos!
I have some real revelation for you about your brick wall. You know you build it up until you have just a couple of brick holes to peer out at your world and occasionally you reach out with your hand for help. When that help fails you, you just decide to close off the world completely to protect yourself. You are beaten down.
You know when you build the wall to keep the “bad guys out”, you also wall of the “good guys” from helping you.
Trust is an elusive thing. For most of us once it is lost we rarely go back and forgive the person or thing or experience and start anew. However, may I be so bold as to suggest that you, remove the sticky notes and burn them. Yes, it is symbolic and it does help you move from stuck to unstuck. Then rebuild your life by removing one brick at a time. This is a process. If you break down the wall all at once without fortifying your own internal worth and knowledge and foundational core, you risk building on the rubble of the wall.
How willing are you today to just remove those sticky notes? Spring is waiting just beyond your wall. Let the sunshine warm your face.
What is stopping you?
