Last time I asked you if your receiver was on. Did you notice that I did not address that question? I did that for a reason. I wanted you to think about those four big issues that I see and hear about everyday in my business.
So let’s talk about what a “receiver” actually does. A “receiver” is finely tuned and grabs a signal out of the air and translates it into something that is familiar to the viewer and it then streams it onto your tv screen. OK, so you knew that right?
But, did you know that this is how you “receive” messages out of the air and take them inside of you internally and then scramble or unscramble them into something that is “familiar” to you so that you can either reject or ingest what you have just received? I know you did not think of yourself as a “receiver”.
What happens when we receive and translate a signal, gesture, look, message or any other item coming from outside of us? We have a couple of choices: 1) we can accept it for its face value and drop it, 2) we can take it in and let it hurt us deeply: we can then choose to keep it or spit it out, 3) we can take it in scramble it around and make it into anything we want it to be even if that is not “real” or the “intended” message, or 4) we can take it in and see it as an opportunity for growth. What do you do?
In the case of our first issue “Unsaid & Unmet Needs”, what happens is usually the other party has no idea what it is that we do need. The reverse is also true. Take a relationship (Professional or Private), each one of these has their own set of specific dynamics which we will not go into here.
If your mate does not know what you need in any of the specific areas of your life and relationship, how can he or she ever hope to give you even a small amount of what you need. The reverse is also true.
Here’s an example: When you both come home from work what happens? How much down time would you like? How much help would you like? How could you two divide up the things that need to be done and both still get a break from one job (your professional careers) and your second job (of being parents and being married)?
It is all about communication. Take next Saturday evening and have a heart to heart discussion, about “Needs that have gone Unsaid”. This is a WIN-WIN discussion, not a fight.
How did you do?