Each of us has “stories” that we tell ourselves, and others over and over again and sometimes they are true and sometimes they are a “fiction”.
However, when we repeat them often enough we begin to believe the story and it does become our reality.
What story from your past are you continuing to retell?
I encourage you, to let go of that story and face the truth about whatever it is.
It is my experience that what is the truth no longer holds the “emotional charge” that it once did and it is a story you can willingly set down and walk away from.