START vs. STOP Mentality


Recently I listened to an interview with a respected financial expert, and he said this phrase:  “…start vs. stop mentality in our country today…,” and he went on.  I didn’t hear the rest of the interview because that phrase stopped me.  I began to ponder the thought:  “Have we become a “Start vs. Stop” country?”

Think about this for a moment:

There is always one group of people who are screaming at the top of their lungs to “STOP …XYZ…,” they write about it, they blog about it, they podcast, are interviewed online and on television, they even tweet about their wanting to STOP XYZ.

Then there is a group of people with the opposite viewpoint who are shouting at the top of their lungs to “START …XYZ…,” they write about it, they blog about it, they podcast, are interviewed online and on television, they even tweet about their wanting to START XYZ.

The news cycle is bombarding us with these two contradicting messages 24 – 7 since we have no break or downtime in any news cycle here in 2019.

What intrigues me is the lack of knowledge on the history of the topic of “XYZ” [and it does matter what XYZ actually is].  Those yelling are [for the most part from my listening and watching experience] ignorant about the history around where “XYZ” originated, the legislation around the “XYZ” hot topic, the cultural change brought on by thousands of factors, generational beliefs, a shift in societal norms, the influence of the interconnectedness of the world and the influence of other people and their cultures. 

Humans are easily triggered by almost every topic on earth.  Can anyone of us change anything with “START vs. STOP” mentality?  Apathetic/tired mentality also has a foothold today.  The constant hammering on the “XYZ” topic causes many to become numb and turn off completely.  These individuals have heard the arguments for decades and lived through the turmoil this thinking creates and they see nothing changes each time an old topic is brought forward by a new generation looking to make their mark on history, for better or worse, but mostly just the same old argument which never seems to get new legs or resolved to the liking of both sides.  A person can only stay in the boxing ring for so long before they end the constant beating upside the head.

I have often coached clients in this same sort of fight, to remember it take two people or two groups who want to climb into the ring to fight.  If you do not enter the ring, the fight will not go on.  The news cycle will move on to the next match until the two decide it is worth fighting about and is willing to actually do something about the “XYZ” they want to stop or to start.

As for me, I am continually appalled at the sight of intelligent, elected, and non-elected people spout “STAR vs. START” statements who do not know the basic facts to support their position.  These individuals seem to like to hear themselves talk and be in the media news cycle.  Does anyone else want to hear their position other than the media hungry? Have you noticed this: when even the same “like-minded” folks on the same side are spouting off, they do not come from the same position in many cases?  We all know about talking points on every issue, but it seems the person in the spotlight can’t help themselves. 

When I took journalism courses in college, we were harpooned for false facts, not knowing: who, what, when, where, how, and why.  Not doing our due diligence was a grade of failure for sure, but today, those journalistic truisms do not matter.  Later on, I remember this new normal:  “…a reporter must have 2 additional sources….” the internet and hearsay, were not valid sources.   This, too, has fallen by the wayside. 

When I began my coaching career, I began to challenge my clients and kept refining the questions you see below,  in order to dig deeper into the issues brought to our coaching sessions.  I also used a specific process [AWARENESS>GROWTH>FREEDOM], which has become a gold standard. 

Here they are:

AWARENESS [process]

    [a – h are the refined questions]

  1. What do you believe about “XYZ”?
  2. Where did your belief come from?


  1. What would you like to believe about “XYZ”?
  2. How will you go about changing your belief about “XYZ”?
  3. What areas do you want to explore to make a new belief decision?

FREEDOM [process]

  1. What NEW belief have you adopted about “XYZ”?
  2. How does your new “XYZ” belief support who you are in your life today?
  3. What/How will you live your life from now on with your new belief in place?

This specific process requires time and deep inner reflection from each of us who are exploring ourselves and what beliefs we stand on and live for each day. Just like the hidden life which is hidden in the desert, it only takes a few sprinkles of rainwater the cause immediate rapid response, and the desert becomes green and alive from its dormancy.  We, too, can have an immediate rapid response when we are sprinkled with the right questions, asked at the right time to change.  These questions open us up to new possibilities which are often hidden under the weight of “STOP vs. START Mentality.”


I’d like to hear from you!

Janice Bastani Coaching offers customized solutions for you and your team to resource and equips you to be a “Great Leader.”  When you are ready, we are here to help, send an email to begin the process: 

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