Revenge – Restitution – Retaliate

These three “R’s” are not the ones we associate with our everyday language.  Recently, over the past two decades, these three “R’s” seem to be coming forward out of every mouth, text messaging, posting online, podcasts, news programming, and watercooler discussions.  When we look and voice these three R’s, what do you feel inside?  Do you have an internal trigger that goes off, and you well up with anger? Or perhaps you immediately get on your “soap box” and begin to voice your opinion about any one of these three R’s.

Once you begin your tirade, do people join in, or do they find some excuse to walk away? Depending on the group you are interacting with, you may get both reactions.  One eggs you on with common phrases that you are used to, and others simply throw up their arms in disgust and mutter under their breath and walk away.

When this happens, what is it that you hope to gain by standing and voicing your opinion on that soapbox?

What I know in these situations is this:  “No One Wins,” because these deepen the negativity of the topic and only add fuel to an already stoked fire. Do not be fooled.  These three “R’s” have no actual end to their eternal presence.  They have been around for thousands of years.  These R’s lay deep buried in the smoldering bed of unfounded hate.  Hate is a “learned” response to something.

If I ask you these three questions, are you able to answer them for me?

1. Where did you learn to seek Revenge?
2. Where did you learn you needed to have Restitution for something?
3. Where did you learn to learn to Retaliate for something done to you?

My guess is someone who was important to you or that you looked up to TOLD you each of these things, even though you never experienced the “deed” done to you in your lifetime. I know this is controversial in our day, and it is okay to explore these ideas, but to explore them with a different mindset and perspective is the key to understanding them.  Not everything in life is about race, culture, philosophy, religion, or country, or, for that matter, any of the other millions of items thrown into the mix as a person’s positional soapbox.

Let’s ask a few more questions to get you thinking in a different direction:

1. Does the continued idea of Revenge solve anything?
2. Does a continued focus on Restitution get you anywhere?
3. Does continued looking for Retaliation get you what you think is owed to you?

Or let’s look at these three a different way:

1. What is the outcome you think you deserve and want to extract as Revenge?
2. What is the outcome you believe is due to you for some kind of Restitution?
3. What is the outcome you want to put on another person as Retaliation?

Let’s imagine for a moment, you get what you truly believe is due to you under any one of these circumstances, “Are you now satisfied” with the outcome, or is there still a smoldering fire deep within you that does not go out?

This is our sinful, human nature.  We are flawed in every way you can imagine or even care to admit, and I know you know that deep inside you.  In fact, sometimes you know it, and you do the thing you hate anyway.  It is like you are driven to this destruction.  What happens many times is a person, just accepts that is the way they are, and they cannot change. Some individuals seek their 15 seconds of fame to be in the press, which they think will satisfy their own “self-adoration.”  But it does not.

History is full of answers to these questions, and the answers are all “NO!”

History repeats itself over and over again since the time man drew his first breath.  History shows that when these three “R’s are avenged, these three do not end.  They keep repeating, and mankind never feels satisfied. Like many alive today, there is an unquenchable need eating away at their souls, most do not know that these are driving their behavior, their decision-making processes, their lifestyle, their relationships, their jobs, families, and so on.

This comes from living a life in what is called “victimhood.”  This ideology of being and perpetual living your life as a “Victim” is one of the most destructive ways to exist in life.  This isn’t living, it is existing to get a high from the next soapbox stance you choose to take to show just how hurt and empty you are.  Does any of this make sense to you?

Seek help.  It is out there.

Next month we will explore the exact opposite of these three “R’s” – Repent – Restore  – Redeem!

I will leave you with this:

1. What do you believe about Revenge?
2. Where did your belief about Revenge come from?
3. Is your belief TRUE?
4. How do you know it is TRUE?
5. What would you like to believe instead?
6. How would my life be different with a new belief?
7. What do you believe about Restitution?
8. Where did your belief about Restitution come from?
9. Is your belief TRUE?
10. How do you know it is TRUE?
11. What would you like to believe instead?
12. How would my life be different with a new belief?
13. What do you believe about Retaliation?
14. Where did your belief about Retaliation come from?
15. Is your belief TRUE?
16. How do you know it is TRUE?
17. What would you like to believe instead?
18. How would my life be different with a new belief?

Sounds simple?

No, it is not simple, but it is thought-provoking, and can really garner some deep discussion if and only if a person is willing to put aside all the things that cloud our thinking.

Until next month…

If you are looking for a mentor or coach to help you with your microphone, send me an email, and we can discuss the effective use of that microphone in your hands!

janice@janicebastanicoaching.com
8914 Collina Ct.
Granite Bay, CA 95746
908-229-3797
www.janicebastanicoaching.com
www.johnmaxwellgroup.com/janicebastani