Can you believe it is just nine weeks until we turn the calendar over to 2022? I don’t know about you and your family and business, mine has been a year of momentous change with births, home buying, home selling, multiple staged moves, new town, new friends, new doctors, new and changing daily habits and lots and lots of new work in all areas of my life. What has happened in your life in 2021?
Although we are settling into our new experience, we bring along with us much of our past. This happens in our private lives and in our public lives. Some of the tried-and-true things we do in our businesses remain the same and other things are re-evaluated, and we begin to measure the “value” of those clients, customers, processes, daily habits and events we block out our time to participate in. As for me, since the move, as is with any move, you find yourself in a room full of furniture, bookshelves, boxes and tech. You say to yourself, “Where do I begin?” For me that was easier said than done. I first emptied my new home office space of everything and pulled my desk chair into the middle of the room and “lived and got to know” my new surroundings. What did the space feel like? How is the current lighting in this new space? What do I see outside my three large office windows? What are the sounds of this home and the landscaping outside? Where is the morning light coming into the room? Evaluating a workspace is very important. As it turns out my beloved “Country French Desk” did not work in my new office, and I left my custom-made tech work desk in my old home for the new owner.
So, fast forward 8 months and now my space is 90% to my liking and I feel functional and comfortable in my new home office. There are a few tweaks, and overall, I am pleased with the workspace.
Now for the unpacking. I am fortunate enough to have a windowless large room between my office and the garages where I placed all of my boxes of books. I separated all my wall art, and memorabilia into on specific space in a long seldom used hallway, all of my faith materials in another row of my bookcases in another long haul and was left with my basic office supplies and daily office work items in boxes. You might think a box a day, a box every couple of hours or some other method of sorting, keep pile, file pile, throw away pile type of method will work, but what if you didn’t unpack anything and just dove right into work and you never missed anything in those boxes. Interesting idea, isn’t it? That is what I have done these past 9 months.
Every day I am in my office, I get to work and if I find I need something in one of those boxes, I ask myself: “Is it possible to accomplish my task without that specific thing?” If “yes,” I plunge head on with the project, if “no,” I have an uncanny way of just knowing where the items is and I am able to locate it immediately. I know that sounds almost spooky doesn’t it. I have always had this ability. I am productive and I do not have art on my walls except my wall calendar.
How about you? In the past 305 days what new things have transpired in your professional and personal life? Have you found new meaning in your work? Have you found new habits in perhaps still working from home? For those who have children, I know you are still wrestling with education, and you may still be losing sleep over the uncertainty of your future, your families future and your children’s future. Maintaining stability, and routine while being positive is not an easy thing in our lives. I know, think of the things I just told you happened to me this year and I didn’t mention 90% of the change, sadness, and instability our family felt. The question becomes, how does a head of a household, a parent, a spouse or other person who carries the weight and responsibility of keeping a family, marriage, relationship, and life in balance, happy, realistic, and healthy without throwing everyone into a tailspin? The answer to that question amounts to 333,532,490 different answers and solutions and also within that huge number are those who have no clue, are hopeless, ill, do not have an answer, much less know where to go to find an answer or to someone who can help them sort out the crazy mixed-up life, we have all been plunged into since November 2019.
We keep looking in our rear-view mirrors hoping to see this global pandemic in the past, but it seems that is not going to happen any time soon. So, what can we do in the meantime? Below is a list of things that you might want to pursue and tweak them to suit you and yours. These are merely ideas they are not mandates. It also helps to get with others [safely of course] and just talk. It helps to physically be in the presence of others in the same struggle and to see and hear what they have experienced and tried and what has worked and not worked. Okay, here’s the list:
- Gather others who are in the same situation as you and your family and do a ZOOM or Facetime or in-person meeting and vent, pour your heart out
- Share your heartache with a trusted family member, or friend, mentor, or coach
- Look at all the things you believe are “have-tos” in your social life, work life, family life and so on. Make a list by day of the week, or by person’s name, or months of the year. Then go down that list one line at a time. Ask yourself, the other person, the family, or work colleague:
- Does this activity or job bring me great joy and fulfillment?
- Can this activity or job be done by someone other than “X”?
- Is it possible to drop this activity or job to lessen the stress or workload for the person?
The bottom line here is most likely if the activity or job does not bring joy or income in, it can be something you can drop. I am not saying this is easy and you may experience pushback from others, but it can be done.
- Change your uncomfortable routine if possible. We all know life and our daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly routines are now out the window since COVID, but what might we reinstate or go back to that makes us feel more comfortable. These might be small incremental changes. Remember we have all be thrown this curve ball and frankly it hurt us pretty bad, and we are still suffering the consequences.
- Maybe, play musical bedrooms. Have a moving day and all the kids get to pack up their things and move to a new room. I realize this may not be at all possible, but it could be something fun and very different to do one weekend. If this isn’t possible, you can put everything in the middle of the room and paint it a fun new color, let the kids decide, after all you don’t have to sleep there. Or what about putting everything out in the hall and totally rearranging the furniture. Only put the things each child deems “I love this the most” back into the room. Bag the rest and donate it. Have your child write a simple note about the donation and put it into the box of bag. It doesn’t matter that no one will read the note it is about the sentiment.
- Gather your family at the table with paper, pen, markers, and any other items that they like when being creative. Ask each person to write what on a piece of paper what is bothering them today, what they feel sad about, what they feel happy about, what they are worried about, what they fear, and any other question that might pull of feelings they are still burden with today. YES, children carry these things around just like we do. Ask the questions one a time and be slow about it. Give the members of your family time to process and write something down. Then share and ask the youngest member what they think might work to help the person. Why the youngest? The youngest person will have the simplest answer and sometimes it is the best answer. This is a process. Celebrate what solutions and creative answers come out of your family meeting! [I am sure you still have Halloween candy laying around, spread it out on the table!]
- Start a new adventure. Have everyone in your family contribute by telling everyone something they would like to do. I am not talking about a cruise, or trip to a theme park, think outside to a national park, or local state park, or a big outdoor area with trails, places to walk, to picnic, or just play. You can do this in every season of the year, you just have to be totally prepared with the right clothing, and the right equipment and the right food.
- You may be in the midst of huge change in your professional life and or your personal life. These two seem to go hand in hand in our lives. So, what can you do to mitigate the stress and change? First there is the acceptance of the whole situation. Then the venting of your feelings around the change. This is true for your loved ones too who may not be able to understand the changes taking place. You might be grieving the loss or you might be in sheer joy at the new situation. Feel those feelings. Take a day or two to let things settle and begin to put your next plan of action or process in place. Ask for input from those you love and get their perspective. Then act.
All of the above suggestions require a person to really think outside the box, to use your imagination, and use what you currently have to relieve the stress which will be with us for some time to come.
Let me know what you did and what new ideas you and yours came up with please. Many of us today need someone outside our professional or personal life group to talk to about these things and this feeling is perfectly normal.
It helps to have an impartial ear to listen to your worries, fears, joys, trouble and to listen to the pent-up emotions you have stuffed way down deep. If you are ready to let some of that pressure off and out of your life, find a local coach, a trusted friend, a mentor, perhaps someone who shares your same faith or belief system, and call them to engage their help and their listening ear.
If you would like to speak with me, I am here and I would love to listen to you. Send me an email at: janice@janicebastanicoaching.com and let’s set up a time to talk. I send you off with my very best wishes for a productive month here in November 2021.
