Does this title define your life? Every time I leave my home to venture out into the world I consistently come across people just out there living everyday life who are struggling and indeed almost to the point of tears and just about to fall to their knees under the weight of their life. My heart actually aches when I run errands, buy groceries, go to my business mailbox, watch mothers and toddlers battle it out over trivial things, bad mouthing and finger pointing about a parking space and a million other things that go on in our lives.
What could have possibly gone wrong in a person’s life to the point that they are about to crumble?
Today, I wanted to do a number of errands and I have for months wanted to stop at this one particular place to ask the person who owns the business how to do something very specific because each time I pass by his work is very prominent. So I pulled into this lovely little cottage of this sign maker. I walked down the little brick path and went to open the door to go in and it was locked. I rang the doorbell. A meek man came to the door and as I tried to come into his place of business, he blocked the way and as I looked into his eyes they seemed filled with fear. So I began to speak with him about what I was hoping to learn. In my head I was asking him: What is it that you need right now? But, I didn’t act on my own intuition. Suddenly a small very white little yappy dog began to go ballistic which was sitting in the window seat.
I asked my question again and then gave some other bits of information, and the business man began to let down his fearful look and his shoulders relaxed. He did eventually loosen up enough to communicate with me and then I gave him a compliment about how for years I have driven by his place and admired the beautiful works of art that he creates.
I drove out of the driveway and I couldn’t get that man’s fearful look out of my head.
As I drove to my next stop, I was listening to my car radio and I heard a phrase that summarized that man’s face and the other oddities that I encountered over a 2 hour period of running errands. The word was “crumbling foundation”….OK it’s two words.
It suddenly dawned on me that this is what I have been witnessing around me on a weekly basis. Each of these people that I have observed watched and interacted with were all experiencing a crumbling foundation of their lives.
Each of us has a foundational core that our lives are built on. It is my experience that 99% of these foundations are weak or non-existent. What do you mean by that? You may ask. From the moment you were born, a “life foundation” began to be put in place block by block. Your parents (together, married or not) already had something in place and you inherited that “life foundation” from your first breath which you drew forward.
As you grew up, these foundational blocks were lived out, modeled before you, and lived in the business of daily living. You saw the good. You saw the ugly. You witnessed the wrong. You witnessed love. You felt fear, love, hope, despair and about a thousand other things in your life.
There was a day and a moment when something changed for you. No two of us have that same moment in time. And most of us do not remember this exact moment. We may remember an event that occurred. Do you know what moment that was? Can you guess?
This is the moment that you knew unquestionably that you were responsible for your decisions. In some cultures they call it the age of accountability. You probably just had a pang of ughhhhhh! Oh yeah, that is the moment I am talking about. You do remember it, don’t you?
In that moment you didn’t realize it, but that is when you either accepted that foundational set of building blocks from your family or you began to dismantle that foundation and build your own.
What did you do?
Here’s what I know for sure, most of us never give this “invisible foundation” any thought. We all feel its crumbling affects when our lives begin to fall apart because we are not rooted, we have no foundational beliefs of any kind, we have made no life decisions which make our foundation strong! We get “FREE” of the family and spread our wings and indulge ourselves, live life on the edge, we take huge risks and chances because we have felt so stifled and constrained that when the cage door is opened we do not know how to have any boundaries in any sector of our lives.
Are you tracking here?
When life hits us in the face with challenges, life issues, financial troubles, relationship problems, careers that suddenly come to a halt, children who seem out of control and taxes, food and shelter costs are more than you can pay……we are brought to our knees by the sheer volume of the problems.
Because we have not done that work of looking at our foundation and what our beliefs and position is on each of those foundational blocks we are “weak”, we easily crumble. If on the other hand you have taken a good hard look at each of these foundational blocks, your four cornerstones and you have made decisions about how you will live your life and how you will make decisions when the challenges, problems and indeed even the crisis’s arise, you stand tall and you do not sway, because your foundation is solid and firm.
So where are you today?
As I drove home I pasted by a shop where a local photographer does business. He had a new quote on his front window and I thought: how apropos. Here’s what the quote said:
“Be happy in this moment, for it is this moment which is your life”
How true is that!?
Are you looking to rebuild your foundation?
Are you feeling like you have crumbled underneath the weight of life?
I encourage you to email me and just ask your question. I am not here to judge you. I am here to honor you walk in your life. I am here to help lift you up and to help you if you will let me.
Here’s my hand stretched out for you….all you have to do is to take hold and immediately you will feel stronger because you have someone who has a vested interest in Y-O-U!
Write me at: Janice@janicebastani.com
I cannot help you build a strong foundation if you do not write and ask.