You know who you are….you are the women whose every sentence begins with…..”…I just don’t have the time….”
Who is it inside of that body of yours that screams: “YES!….I can do that….!” even when you don’t utter the words?
We train others how to treat us.
We train others what to expect from us.
We train others in every situation that we interact with them about what their expectation is that we will do for them.
What would happen if you really did not want to do what was implied or asked of you straight out and you actually said simply “NO”.
“No, I am not able to do that for you.”
If you have trained the asker to beg, whine, cajole, insist, or any number of other things, the “dance” will ensue and once again you will dance around the familiar dance floor until the ultimate resolution is in place.
If you have never replied “NO” to the person who has made a request; you might be in for a big surprise.
If you always answer “NO” and then give in that’s another thing.
What would happen if you said “NO” and walked away from the conversation and out of the room?
What would happen if you said “NO” and walked away from the conversation and out of the room AND did not feel guilty about your “NO”?
I have a great exercise that I have taught for years about “TIME” and how we actually use it and what we do with the “white space” that is left which is our free time.
There is some unwritten rule in this country that we live in that if you are not busy doing something literally 24-7 (you know using all those modern appliances to do your work even while you catch a couple of hours of shut eye), that we are somehow lazy, not productive, and any other hundreds of messages that are out there.
We don’t have time because our priorities about what we perceive as important are not really that important at all. Yes, I am in your face about this. Those things will not bring in one more dollar to your checking account, they will not bring you closer in your relationships, doing this or that will not make your child smarter, more ahead, filling up your calendar so you look soooooooooooo busy will not make you more popular, get more invitations to things that you cannot attend anyway nor will this full calendar make you happier or live longer.
What will make all of those important things happen?
Empty time to put in the things which will help you to calm down.
Empty time slots where you can go for a bike ride.
Empty space for you to take your children to a park for the afternoon with PBJ sandwiches and ice cold milk.
Empty space to lay in the grass on a blanket and marvel at the stars overhead.
Empty slots in your calendar one night a week to just sit in silence and be held by someone that loves you without the world invited into your family room.
Holding a little person in your arms in bed reading a favorite book without the chiming of emails and messages being delivered or the flick, flick, flick of the images on a TV on in the room which is on mute.
Who is the most important person or persons in your life?
Will one more activity bring you closer? NO.
I have a huge challenge for you this Mother’s Day.
ERASE all activities on Mother’s Day this Sunday.
If your family has planned something for Y – O – U, then let that be the only thing. No errands or stops on the way to or home from what ever it is.
Call you own MOM and your spouses MOM and speak with them as long as they want to speak. Do this in front of your children. Encourage them to say something to their grandma(s).
Let the rest of the day be about being.
Being at peace with the peace of the day.
Do nothing else.
Let the day unfold on its own.
Remember who the day is suppose to be honoring.