Mirroring

This month let’s talk about “Mirroring” and what it looks like in our lives.  What is “Mirroring” you may wonder?  This term and behavior can be very beneficial to your life or it can destroy a relationship.  Let me give you an example of each so you will understand.

“Positive Mirroring” is the behavior of being present through listening, direct eye contact, and neutral body language or assuming the same body posturing, tone in your voice, or gesturing, when another person is speaking to you.  What you are saying in a nonverbal manner is:  “I accept you and I am listening to you” – this creates enormous rapport.  Once the person has completed speaking; you the listener then say:  “What I heard you saying is, and then you repeat verbatim what the other person said.”  The person to whom you were listening will either say:  “Right” or they will repeat what they said before because you did not “Mirror” back what they said.

“Negative Mirroring” is the behavior of rude interruption, body posturing, mocking comments, and disgust at what is being said. What this indicates to the other person who is trying to speak is; you [the listener] are in a confrontational position and not willing to listen at all.  You may use hand gestures, flip your head or hair, smirk, and laugh out loud in rebuke, or any other disrespectful actions or words toward the person speaking.

You do not have to agree with the person speaking and you may have your own take on whatever is being said, but you do not have the right to disrespect the person speaking.  If you want forward movement on the topic you must use “Positive Mirroring” otherwise everything stops. In order to add value and be of value to others, we must first value ourselves.  Johnetta McSwain is quoted as saying this:  “I get a chance to be anyone I want to be today.”  How true this is; each morning we get up and begin our morning rituals and one of those is looking in the mirror and asking: “…who am I going to be today when I face the world, my family and friends?”

One statistic tells us that by the time we are seventeen years old we have heard the word “NO” more than 150,000 times and the word “YES” only 5,000; so what do you think is programed into your psyche?  The opposite is also true, when there are more “YESES” than “No’s” with no consequences the person that emerges presents as a “Victim” expecting entitlement.  So who do you want to be today?  Below are ten things you can do to add value not only to yourself but to others.

  1. Be intentional with your “Self-Talk”
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others
  3. Work on your “Limiting Belief”
  4. First add value to another person
  5. Do what is right, even if it is going to cost you something
  6. Each day make it a practice to do something in an area of your life
  7. Celebrate even the smallest victory – give yourself a high five
  8. Maintain a positive vision in your life and business based on your own core values
  9. What you focus on expands therefore focus on a positive one-word strategy
  10. You are 100% responsible for your life; all your thoughts, decisions and actions.

 

 

janice_bastani

 

Please email me with your questions, comments or suggestions at:

focusrubyhillliving@janicebastani.com.

In April 2017 we will discuss:

“REFLECTION”