How many of you who read these posts are living a lie somewhere in your life?
Be honest now. I can’t think of anyone who is not 100% honest with who they are on the outside and what they really think and do and believe on the inside. It is a kind of “self preservation” that we have with ourselves.
We have an “agreement” with our self loop talking tape that tells us; “…if I do such and such…..this decision will be OK…….and I will get what I want……and no one else will be hurt…..and no one else has to know….”. How many times do you go down this road?
I am fond of saying that there are at least three people who know; “me, myself & I” so who am I hiding my actions and thought from? Actually. no one!
How do we get ourselves into these messes any way?
Deep seeded need or want of something very specific, is the answer.
It is like food without salt.
Life without water.
Relationships without love.
We are meant to live, work, love and relate. Some of us have turned the natural up side down with all of our agreements which are trying to fill a void which cannot be filled with the “agreement”.
So what does fill the void?
It is my experience the missing ingredient is: An honest, loving, uplifting relationship with someone and not the thing we have an agreement with.
The agreement can be with shopping, food, unhealthy behavior, cutting words, wrong people, alcohol, smoking, drugs, risky sex and a thousand other things that you have used to fill the void in the past and then it just became your “default behavior”. It chose you more or less and you fed into it like a starving and thirsty nomad.
One must deconstruct what has been constructed and begin to rebuild the foundation with healthy relationships slowly one foundational block at a time and leave the destructive default behaviors behind on block at a time, one decision not to do the default behavior. one decision at a time.
Yes it is hard at first, but you can do this!
Just one decision at a time.
One decision this morning.
One decision at 10 am
One decision at lunch.
One decision at 4 pm.
One decision at 7 pm
One decision at 10 pm
As you lay your head on your pillow tonight, think of all the great decision you made today and make an agreement that this feels so good, I will live this way tomorrow too! Give thanks, close your eyes and sleep in the peace of your great decisions!