I Have Arrived!

I am sure all of you remember the day you arrived in this world.  You arrived naked, scared, ignorant, screaming, flaying at your release from such tight quarters, shocked by the bright lights and the plummet of your body temperature.

That shocked all of us for a brief couple of minutes.  What happens next?

Those who were attending to you checked you out.  They made sure you were weighted and measured (isn’t that funny; the thing we most dread now is the first thing that was done to us), cleaned up, we got  prints taken.  Then we were wrapped up tight in a blanket and kept warm before we were handed back to our Mom like a perfect little present.

Let’s fast forward to today.  I’m dizzy!  What are you doing today in your life?

Are you trying to look like that perfect little present?

Are you trying to live up to someone else expectation of you?

Are you living on your own terms?

What are you doing today in your life?

As a coach, I speak to clients daily who are in “search mode”.  They are like giant “GOOGLE” search engine looking for something and they have no idea what it is.  Frustrating?!  You bet it is and it is exhausting.  They spend their days, nights, weekends and free minutes in a never ending search loop.    It’s like they have fallen through a trap door and there is no bottom to it.  If you feel this way, I would surmise that you feel pretty counter productive and totally ineffective.

What is it that you are searching for?   Most of the time when I ask this question of a client they actually haven’t even ask themselves.  So that”s where we will begin.  What is it that is causing you to search?  Where in your life do you feel out of whack?  Still a blank look, or are you shouting in every area?   Okay so let’s look at each area of your life.  Simply tell me where you are  as you read the list.  A “0” means totally dissatisfied and a “10” means life is perfect.

Personal Environment or Home ______

Giving Back _____

Family/Parenting ______

Finances _____

Safety _______

Growth Opportunities:  Spiritual _____, Personal _____, Professional_____

Self _____

Fun_____

Relationships:  Personal-intimate ______, Personal-Social ______, Professional _____, Friendships______

Health/Wellness/Aging _____

Spiritual _______

Professional Life/Career ______

Okay, so where are you below an 8?

What’s the area of life with the lowest number?

That’s where I would start.  Here’s what I have found in coaching thousands of sessions; when a client begins to work on one area of their lives the others begin to rise also.  It ‘s a matter of focus.  It you put off or ignore a specific area of life no matter what the reason is, you will become off.  Off balance, you will feel like something just isn’t right in your life and the more you ignore that part of your life the worse all the other areas become.

Sometimes, you are just chasing the wrong dream.  What I have found is clients are often living someone else dream and not their own trying to be accepted or keep the other person happy.  That doesn’t work for YOU!  It may keep them happy and it keeps you stuck and under that person control.  You know what I have also found is that if we are not ready, knowledgeable, have the skills needed or willing to make the sacrifice that we need to in order to realize our dream, a person will make up a version of “their own story” (which I must say can be very convincing and elaborate with lots of colorful details) in order to find what amounts to an excuse as to why they haven’t or can’t do something. It is natural.  We all do it to save face.

If you find yourself struggling in this very area, might I suggest that what you are trying to do is not in alignment with who you are at your deepest self.  It’s not what you want.  It is not who you are.

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