Growth is Internal Work

We are now in the last quarter of 2021, and where do you find yourself sorting out year two of the COVID pandemic?

You may be like many people who are afraid to poke their head outside the box they find themselves still in.  What is that about?  As a professional mentor and coach, I find the answers are usually anchored in one or more “fears,”; either real or imagined.  Let me say that imagined fears are very real until we begin to test them for their validity. 

Let me give you some basic context to what you just read.  A friend of mine said: “Each of us has experiences and people in our lives which fall into one of two categories:  they are either “wind in our sail,” or they are “an anchor in our dreams.”  Wow, I never heard it stated like this.  This is a very good!  Lift up the lid of the box you find yourself in, and let’s look inside and ask ourselves.

“Who is our anchor?” 

“What experience is holding me right here right now?” 

Simply make a list; writing out these things will help release some or all the triggering emotions anchoring you inside.  I realize that this lifting the lid and looking inside is actually frightening.  You know that inside, you are a tangled mess of emotions and chaos. You are normal.

You may want to list these anchors by weight.  What anchor feels the heaviest to you? Put that one first.

Let’s start with the heaviest anchor.  Where did this anchor come from?  It is okay if you do not know right off the top of your head; just sit with this question for a moment and let your mind drift until you can place or hear where the anchor came from.

Ask yourself this: “Is this true?”  “How do I know for sure?”  Fear, real or unreal, is a huge anchor on you, your talents, your skills, your relationships, and your dreams.  These traits of your DNA make up who you are and they do not change. They are buried deep inside you and are God-breathed into who you are at your core.  No one can remove these from you.  This is a truth you will want to embrace and let the light of who you are shine out of that box, and eventually, you will be lifted out of this box you have allowed yourself to be boxed into for so long. 

Never let anyone or anything keep you trapped in the box of limiting beliefs. When you allow yourself to take small doses of poison in your life daily, you will remain inside the dark box of limiting beliefs.  Escaping is up to you.

Every day, when those words, images or people show up, go through your questions again and affirm that this is not who you are, and do the opposite.  Little by little, step by step, you will emerge from the box and you can slam all those limiting beliefs and people in the box and tape the lid shut and through it in the nearest garbage can!

Now, let’s take a look at who or what put’s the WIND into your Life Sails.  Do the same exercise you did before, only this time put the names and experiences that make you happy, put wind into your sails, put a spring into your step, make you want to get up in the morning and so on.  These are the experiences and people who will lift you up and out of that box.  Think of it as taking a spoonful of “happiness and hope” once a day.  The more you take and experience, the further you come out of the box. 

The bottom line here is if the people around you are not wind in your sails, it is time for NEW PEOPLE!  If the environment you occupy is not wind in your sails, then get a NEW ENVIRONMENT!  If you go negative right here at hearing this, then you are listening to the anchors again.

The time it takes to go from being in the tangled mess in the box to living in the light of freedom and happiness depends on you, my friend.  You may wonder, “How do I keep myself out of the box?”  Now that is a great question and a positive one, we can explore here.

Breaking free is a daily choice you make.

See that image to the right?  Those grey figures are the negative anchors chasing you and trying to keep you in that box!  Stay ahead of them by making great choices and decisions all day, every day.

There are many ways to stay ahead of negative anchors, and I will give you one way here today.  The reason you want to break free and be in the living light of life is simple.  You want to live into and for who you were created to be.  You want to live your life using those talents, skills, and gifts you were born with and that you want to further develop in order to live, make a living, be happy, and add value with what you were given in this life. 

Not everyone wants to be a CEO or run a big megacompany.  Most people want to live happy lives, making a living at what they love, and provide for the people they love.  They want to be healthy, happy, and enjoy where they are.  If this is not you, then what can you do to better yourself and those you love. 

First, you have to love yourself.  You will want to find out what your calling is and be crystal clear on what that is.  This is an inside job. 

Second, you will want to take ownership of your life. Own your gifts, own your talents, own your personality style, own your strengths and emotions.

Third, you will want to nurture those relationships which put wind in your sails.  Build on those loving, lasting relationships.  Know the love languages of all those you love and cherish and keep them close to you.

Fourth, you will want to know what your ethics are, what your values are, what are the faith principles your foundation for life are built on. 

If you do not know what and who you are based on these four, this is job one for you.  If you do not have the equipping to do this on your own, find a mentor, a coach, a friend who has these, a person in your faith community, and ask for help through a simple conversation.  Genuine “Wind” people are happy to help and be a partner in this life building endeavor.

I am happy to talk to you. Send me an email and in the subject line:  “Looking for Wind in my sails.”