Good Pain & Bad Pain

When you think about “pain”, what do you remember?  Maybe it was a paper cut, or a scraped knee, perhaps the pain after surgery.  What we know about pain is, it prompts us to face who we are and where we are. What we do in these times of pain, defines who we are.

Below are some facts about “Bad Pain”

  • Everyone has bad pain from time to time
  • No one likes to experience bad pain
  • Few people can turn bad pain into a good pain experience

When we think about the pain in our lives, we might keep a running account of the times and events surrounding each event.  You might call this your pain file.  Look at the list below and see how many of these are in your pain file.

  • The Pain of Inexperience
  • The Pain of Incompetence
  • The Pain of Disappointment
  • The Pain of Conflict
  • The Pain of Change
  • The Pain of Bad Health
  • The Pain of Hard Decisions
  • The Pain of Financial Loss
  • The Pain of Relationship Loss
  • The Pain of Not Being Number One
  • The Pain of Traveling
  • The Pain of Responsibility


You know you can learn from each of the bad pain experiences above, by letting the pain you feel be your catalyst to develop a strategy never to experience these again.

I love this quote from Virginia Satir:  “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be.  It’s the way it is.  The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”  We cannot control what happens to us most of the time; however, we can control how we respond to what happens to us in life.

Do you want to change the way you respond to pain?  Remember, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten! If you are read to change, below is a simple seven step strategy that will help you.

Step One – Define the problem

Step Two – Understand your emotion

Step Three – Articulate the lesson

Step Four – Identify a desired change

Step Five – Brainstorm numerous pathways

Step Six – Receive others’ input

Step Seven – Implement a course of action


What do you do when you experience bad pain or a bad experience?




Please email me with your questions, comments or suggestions at:

In September 2017 we will discuss:

“Where Is Your Ladder?”