I am more convinced with each passing day that we are accepting the label of “VICTIM” that is voluntarily being not just slapped on our backs, but literally across our faces. Let me explain. For many, many years I have been in the public eye in my own way and been out in front for many an organization and in that role have interaction with people in the community. What I have experienced is an erosion of their self worth and value that they provide not only to themselves, their family, their business, their community and the world at large.
I have a coaching certification in something called energy leadership which simply put is about whether we are negative or positive in our basic nature and what our default mode is when we experience life. People whom I once knew to be positive seem more and more negative in light of the “times” and their circumstances have not changed. However, they perceive that they are somehow victimized.
What I am proposing is that we are “feeding ourselves this negativity” every single day and we are to the point of force feeding ourselves. How am I doing that you may ask? Well, let me ask you a question; “How many times a day do you hear and or see the news?” The news cycles every few minutes and there are constant updates streaming into newsrooms around the world every second. If you heard it this morning, it still happened and it will be on the noon news program, the 5 pm news program and the 11 pm news. Sports teams will go on there will always be one winner and one loser. There can only be one playoff champion and you cannot change who it is. Wars will still be ragging when you go to bed and when you wake up. Some movie star or pop icon will make a media mistake and there will be vultures there to catch it all on camera. Do you begin to get the connection?
This type of activity is like a drug. We are addicted to it. When I coach clients or give a seminar what I encounter is the same across all ages, economic groups, education and so on; that is that we human do not like to “Face Up to our IT”. What is your “IT?” Your it may be that you do not wish to admit that you made a poor decision so you escape in some manner to deflect and avoid the responsibility or the consequences of your decision. What about the FEAR of actually having to go through and live through the pain of something that you are directly responsible for? We constantly deflect conversations, we go down bunny trails, change the subject, create another pressing crisis in order to not have to deal with the one right in front of us.
What does expereincing the PAIN produce in us? Well, not one of us is perfect for one thing. We all lie, we all misrepresent ourselves, we all mask who we really are, we all hurt others with our words, both verbal and written, we all make poor decisions, you see we are all on a level playing field here. We all feed ourselves a steady diet of news, advertising, media, television, computer, magazines, newspapers and so on of “PERFECT” and “INSTANT”. Humans are neither of these things.
If you find yourself in total overwhelm and you are feeling down and bad about yourself, turn to a different diet my friend. Try eating from another source. It you are on the expressway, exit now. Clear up your calendar. You have a whole year ahead of you. Start now. See that which is around you as a gift of learning, rather than something that I have to do. For in reality, you chose to do. Chose not to do instead.