Expectations – Real or Fake?

Each of us is a willing victim of the unscrupulous con which is surrounds us by the sheer nature of our connectedness with technology.  We are truly ripe for the picking because we have a naivete that what we see on the internet must be true or they (who ever “they” are) wouldn’t allow it to be posted there.  That’s our naivete talking.  Our rational self says:  “…that can’t be real!..” as we view something on a posted video or we watch a news feed or twitter discussion about a topic.  And yet, we still want to believe what we see and hear is true.  We get sucked into the drama of the “event” and when it is over, we have gained nothing that enhances our lives or moves us forward to our own goals and dreams.  We feel empty and we begin to look for our next fix of drama.  This is an endless process we engage in daily.  Let’s take a look at this process.

First step:  Temptation and Enticement to the idea (whatever that may be):

Let’s face it we are all technology addicts.  We sleep with our devices, they are permanently affixed to our bodies somewhere, we must know where they are at all times and they must be charged and updated constantly, we want our alerts and deals to be fed to us 24-7.  How fast did it take you to set up your “technology addiction” up when you received your very first device?  What else happened that day?  Can’t remember?….right!  We are tempted into believing that we can’t live, work or be happy without being connected in some way.

Second step:  Repeating the behavior:

We get hooked on the convenience of being connected and being able to get our answers in a very short period of time.  Have you ever watched someone who becomes irate when the data they want to download or upload takes more than a few seconds?  What traits do they exhibit?  We love being able to get what we want, when we want it and we do it again and again.

Third step:  Heightened Anticipation:

You know exactly what I am talking about here.  You wake up and immediately check your _________________!  Something might have happened during the night and if you don’t know what that is, you will somehow be………(what)…….?  Actually, not true at all. 

Fourth step:  Fantasize about ___________________ (whatever it is that you think you need to know)  You may fantasize about having______________, or doing ______________, or tasting ________________, or hearing ____________, or even touching ______________.  We are sensual beings and we are all about going out there in the future and fantasizing about when we get…..we will feel… and that the whole purpose of fantasizing.

Fifth step:  Decision Time:  When you get here; you have to decide to act or not to act.  This happens in all areas of our lives, not just in the technology area.  Think about the last time you wanted something really bad, what did you do in your mind.  Remember here this process is all of about a couple of seconds.  Sometimes it can be longer if you are conflicted about the right or wrongness about what you are about to take action on.

Sixth step:  Pursuit of the thing you want:  This is the place where we begin to go into hyper-speed in our anticipation of receiving whatever it is that we are pursuing.  Do you remember your first love and how you wanted to be with that person all the time and couldn’t wait to hear their voice, and see their face?  This is just like that.  Again here, this is a common step in any number of things you want in your daily life, not just in the technology arena.

Seventh step:  Act upon our decision:  Now you are all in and you act!  Then you get the long anticipated result of what was the object of your desire.  What do you feel now?  Are you satisfied?  Maybe, maybe not.

So what happens once you take action?  Your result will either be fulfilling and you will be stabilized for a period of time, or you will crave more and immediately repeat the same seven steps again!

No judgement here, just a seed planted for you to think about. 

You might want to just run a test today and see for yourself if your “pursuits” are moving you ahead toward your goals or are they complete “time waters” which divert your focus from what you want to do.

Here’s another great question to ponder:  When you have to make a decision, what is your process?  In my coaching business, I have noticed a distinct change from research, talking to a coach or mentor to living life and decision making through consensus!  I see my clients asking everyone else what they should do and then going with the group’s consensus!  They fail to ask the most important person who has to live with the decision – themselves!

What is your process?

How do you interrupt the process?

What is your ultimate outcome?



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