When we as women “got even” to coin a phrase what did we gain in our “Communications with Men” in general? Did this emancipation lift the conversation between men and women? Or did it move it to a new low? I would choose the later. Let me explain. Like many of you I too had times when I felt “talked down to” and I did not like it. Instead of taking it, I began to express my own displeasure at the condescending language, but in a manner which as not dishonoring to my male superior. What transpired from that point on was my own success in the business world without coming from a position of entitlement and a lifetime of want.
If you think it has become hard to talk to a man lately in the last 25 years or so, you would be right. By the way your male counterpart, thinks the same is true in trying to engage you the female in a relationship and conversation. Both sexes have become confused as to where there place is and what is expected by which side. This becomes a very precise place of stress for both sides. Stephanie Coontz who is an author has written: “…relations between men and women have changed more in the past 30 years than in the past 3,000…” What is driving this? Our traditional roles and pathways for communication have become tangle and confused.
These are tricky waters. When the President of the United States starts trying to define what words mean in order to clarify actions we are on a slippery slope. All of us. As women in business and as women with personal lives we must be very purposeful and honoring in our engaging of men in conversation. Our communication must be clear, concise without emotional connotation and factual. This is the only way that we remain viable and relevant in the business world. When we bow to the pressure of emotional conversation, gossip and passing along information which we have not checked out we lose the gains of those whose shoulders we stand on.
I personally think that the person who engages in any conversation with anyone needs to come from a place of integrity and honor. It does not change because we are in a business suit in the workplace or reading a story to a toddler in our sweats on the couch at home. We are what we model. This does not turn on and off like the water faucet. It is who we are at our core.