August 2014 was a pivotal month for me as an author. You see, in August 2014, my first book was published. You can see the cover here on the left. Yes, it is HOT PINK! On PURPOSE, I might add. It will jump off the shelf at any bookstore. What’s more important here is what this book says about women in 2014 and still today in 2023.
As a society, we have abdicated our unique God-given purpose and identity to someone else. This is true for women and for men in 2023.
Who has hijacked who you are and what you believe? Come on now; you do not have to ponder this one very long.
In my coaching business, I ask the same questions of all my clients when they come to me with a challenge.
- What do you believe about that? [Meaning the challenge, problem, goal, or even their dream]
- Where did your belief about that come from? [Honestly, most people have no idea who has influenced them over the period of their lives.]
- How much would it mean to you to change your belief about that?
What usually happens is wide eyes, open mouth, and a gasp of breath in that moment because they have never asked themselves these questions, much less pondered their own answers, and trying to dig through the thoughts and emotions these questions bring up is tiring.
I will address women here today specifically since the book is geared toward women.
At the very Heart of who we are as God’s daughters is this empty space we are trying to fill. That is this phrase: “I Am Worthy!” Yes, you are. You are worthy of God’s love. You are worthy of God’s grace. You are worthy of God’s forgiveness. He has a place for you in Heaven. He is preparing right now just for YOU! He loves you more than you can possibly imagine.
At the core of who you are surrounding the Heart [see diagram] are those truths I spoke of earlier. “I know what I believe. I know why I believe.”
Around the CORE of who you are, I have drawn a spoke of sorts to define the many areas of your life from my experience as a coach. Depending on your age and season of life, you may have more areas or even less. The number is irrelevant. What is relevant is that you recognize these areas and how you respond to them in your daily life and, how “in touch” you are with who you are and how you handle life.
Area 1 – Personal Environment/Home – Is this a place of peace, a place of honor, comfort, full of love, and honor for all those who dwell under its roof?
Area 2 – Giving Back – To whom and where are you serving with your time, talent, and spiritual gifting?
Area 3 – Family/Parenting – There is a season for parenting. But really, you are always a parent, even to your adult children. Family is forever; you can move away, and you can never talk to someone in your family who has hurt you in some way, but they will always be your family. How are you doing in this area?
Area 4 – Finances – I once heard someone tell me that whoever in your household is the one with the skills for finance should be the one who handles the money, pays the bills, and handles the investments. If you are not skilled at handling money, this is probably not your job. Who handles the finances in your home?
Area 5 – Safety – I truly hate to be writing this, but the world today has many who believe what is yours is theirs, too. In the state where I live, you can steal several thousand dollars’ worth of items from a store and never be prosecuted for the items you steal. I feel like I must watch my surroundings even more today than when I wrote this book. COVID changed the mentality of the world’s people.
Area 6 – Growth Opportunities – I am a big believer in a “Growth Mindset,” and if you are not growing and learning, then you are merely waiting for death to take you. Yuck! You should actively participate in three areas of growth: Spiritual Growth, Personal Growth, and Professional Growth. How are you growing today?
Area 7 – Self – How are you taking care of yourself? Are you a victim living in a victim mentality? Are you a person whose outlook on life is dark and dismal? Do you put yourself first, or are you the martyr in your family? If you do not take care of yourself, first, you have no bandwidth to help others.
Area 8 – FUN! – When was the last time you had fun and laughed your head off and felt like a kid again? If you can’t think of anything, then it has been too long. Do you hear this phrase: “What do you want to do this weekend?” “I don’t know; what do you want to do?” WRONG ANSWER! Speak up. Maybe it is apple picking, swinging in the park, dancing, watching a RomCom movie, or snuggling up under a warm blanket by the fire with no interruptions. When we are depleted, we are not happy people.
Area 9 – Relationships – This is a big trap we fall into in our lives. Our relationships do not always serve us in life. If a relationship is not rewarding, uplifting, and or positive, end the relationship. You do not have to explain yourself. PERIOD! There are many types of relationships: Intimate Relationships, Personal Relationships, Social Relationships, and Professional Relationships. Evaluate all of these and weed out the ones who do not serve you.
Area 10 – Health/Wellness/Aging – Let’s face it: no one escapes aging, so get over yourself. Act and look your age. It is time to evaluate your health, your wellness, and how you are aging. I personally believe the internet has sabotaged every one of us by offering every miracle cure, real or fake, that a person can dream up. Personally, for me right now, I am questioning even the medical profession about what paramount in their practices is. Reason seems to have left the hypocritical oath. Be careful. Ask questions.
Area 11 – Spiritual Life – I am a person of faith, and I believe that your spiritual life should be number one in your life. I am currently writing another book about “Your Vertical Relationship with God.” God has been working on me for a long time in gathering material and reading and writing for this book. My experience with my clients once again boils down to this one truth: If your vertical relationship with God is not in order, then whatever is bothering you can be directly tied to this one thing! Whenever we put anything ahead of God and make that thing/person our “god,” then life takes an unpleasant detour. God has specially said: “Have No Other gods Before Me.” That is a bold and very clear statement.
Area 12 – Professional Life/Career – One of the things I have a hard time swallowing is the fact that so many generations now are living and receiving an entitlement lifestyle. They do not work for the money, housing, medical, or other things they may want or need. I believe this is a SIN. When all of this “help” first began many decades ago, it was meant to be “temporary,” but somehow, over the course of time and the greed to keep votes, this has become a mentality that has honestly poisoned our nation.
You should work. You should earn a living. If you are lucky enough to have a spouse who makes enough to support you and the family, then let that person know what a blessing their work means to you and the family. If you are truly in need, they, by all means, use those services that are available.
If you would like a copy of my book, please email me below, and I will happily send you one.
If you would like to discuss my book through coaching, again email me, and we will set something up, and we can move forward together to sort through the book and your life to a better you!
