Since COVID the clients I coach seem to be caught between two worlds and two people. The world and person they were before COVID and the world and person the are today post COVID. What happened to us?
That’s one of those questions the history books will debate for decades, and I am sure opposing viewpoints, studies and proof on both sides will be written about. But this doesn’t help us today, does it?
When coaching clients, I find the lives led were at a certain rhythm albeit frantic. The frenetic pace was something each of us could count on day in and day out. Then COVID struck like a ninja in a Japanese film from out of the darkness dressed in black to disrupt our lives. Did you ever imagine the entire world would or could be posting signs which read “Closed for business,” “Do Not Enter,” “Stay in your Home?”
COVID to me seemed similar to the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake. Fifteen seconds, on a beautiful October afternoon and life changed from millions in the Northern California Bay Area. I know I was there, and I felt it. The entire Bay Area was shut down. Power was disrupted, travel in certain areas and on roads, and the Bay Bridge were impassable and it would take a very long time to repair.
Both of these two incidents in recent history plus many more, cause us to become paralyzed and our daily lives are disrupted to a degree where we must either seek help, or dig deep and really think about how to live, work and remain healthy mentally and physically.
This is where my question comes into play this month; “Are you coachable?” In other words, can you reach out and talk through what ails you with another person? Being “coachable” has to do more with who you are than what ails you. What does that mean, you may be wondering? Simply put it means the following:
- You are willing to be transparent with a coach.
- You are willing to not live like the lone ranger.
- You are willing to answer questions honestly.
- You are willing to admit you do not know what to do or have all the answers.
- You are willing to be accountable for your decisions and understand you are 100% responsible for every decision you make.
A great coach is a great listener. A great coach asks penetrating, tough questions to get you to really think about what is going on in your head, your life and what drives your actions. A great coach will push you and ask you what happened to all those items you said you would be accountable for and you did nothing.
A person changes only when it hurts them in some way, that they cannot continue the current path they are on. I often talk to my clients about their baggage and relationships. These two things seem to go hand in hand in a coaching conversation. Sometimes the coachee seems to think those in their life are 100% aligned with the path they are traveling; when in reality, they are traveling that path alone. The lens which they view their life is out of focus with reality. Sales people call this “Buy In,” when selling a product. The buyer buys into the sales pitch and after “X” number of times seeing and hearing that commercial they buy it.
If you are in a place of any of these signposts, you might consider asking yourself this line of questions, and see what you come up with:
- First state your challenge, dilemma, or goal.
- What do I believe about the challenge, dilemma, or goal.
- Where did my belief around this challenge, dilemma, or goal come from?
- If I could change my belief, what would my belief be?
- How would my life be different with this new belief?
- How willing am I to make the decisions and take the necessary actions/or have the conversations that will create my new belief and change in my life?
Question #6 is a pivotal moment, especially if you have had this brutal conversation with yourself. What it reveals is your coachability to change what is bothering you.
You can truly change if you want to. There will be times when it is an easy change and other times when, frankly it is gut wrenching to make the changes necessary to get you what you want and where you want to go in life. Everything worthwhile is hard and uphill.
If you find yourself struggling, seek out a coach in an area near you. Make sure the coach you interview [and I highly recommend you interview 2 or three coaches], is trained, certified, and has the hours/clients in the area you want coaching in. Most coaches have a contract, a minimum number of months in that contract, and have a process in their coaching practice. This can vary from coach to coach. Coaching isn’t free. Those who are highly qualified with tens of thousands of hours of training, practice, testing, knowledge, and skillsets are the coaches you are looking to hire.
What’s eating at your psyche today? What challenge or obstacle are you trying to figure out on your own, with no luck? Perhaps you have a big dream or goal and just need someone to help pull the pieces together, sharpen your focus and have partner to put a plan together that you can execute.
Now you are thinking like a person who is “COACHABLE!”