Being A Mom In Transition

As I get ready to celebrate my birthday shortly and our youngest leaves home for real now (the moving van pulled out today with the belonging of a lifetime to move some 3000 miles away), I am struck by the lack of anxiety that I feel and the real joy of our (her Dad’s and My) own accomplishment at this last launch.  As with both of our children, they were very well prepared to go out from high school into college, into grad school and then into the workforce.  We have no regrets about the sacrifices we have made or the time that it took to prepare these young adults to be launched.  We have a since of real pride and accomplishment.

As Mom’s we become nostalgic and teary eyed when our little 5 year old tries to climb those huge steps on the mustard yellow school bus.  We swell with pride when our young adult moves the tassel from one side to the other.  That’s what parent’s do.  How have you felt when you have gone through these points of life? Or your own "launches".?

I have been a volunteer in a variety of groups for over 30+ years and all of the men and women that I have coached and mentored have at one time or another had some trouble with transition as well as feeling slighted out of something that they wanted in life.  What happens is everyone suffers and no one gets ahead.  We leave huge gaping holes in the very beings of ourselves and those we love and care deeply about. 

These folks weren’t being selfish per say, but they were really wanting what they wanted when they wanted it.

For the past three decades what I have learned through my experience is this one very important thing:

You Can Have It All; You Just Can’t Have It All At The Same Time.

If this sounds cruel to you then you are being selfish and narrow minded and acting like a spoiled child who has always gotten what they want each and every time you were taught to scream and yell and throw a tantrum to get it. 

A good example of this are the young pro-ball players who come right out of high school or college and go right into the National Whatever Ball League they have a talent for.  Right?  You’ve seen and heard all the stories about these young men and women who suddenly are flush with attention, media, cash, and clout that they have no clue what to do with.  What happens?

They get into trouble, they spend wildly, do not know when to stop talking and so on.  They wind up on every sports show and entertainment faux paux site as a mention which further draws attention to their inexperience with fame, and money.

The same thing happens to people just like you, and me.  When we haven’t walked the road of media and money and position and the responsibilitys that it brings with stumble and fall.

Think of all of those lottery winners who have won millions of dollars only to be back where they were before shortly after their big windfall.  What happened to them?  They received everything (money) all at once and they did not know how to "RESPECT" or "USE" their new found wealth wisely.

Be thankful that you are now dumped on all at once.  There is a very good reason for it;  most of us just can’t handle it.