10 Ways to Build A Friendship

We know what the killers of a friendship are from last time so this time let’s build up instead of tearing down.  Here are 10 things that will “Build Up A Friendship”.

1.      Honor the other person

2.     Forgive each other

3.      Support your friend

4.      Lift up your friend (even when they are not present)

5.     Stay Calm

6.     Have clear ground rules (in other words “boundaries”)

7.    Share the floor

8.     Use discernment

9.     Listen deeply

10.    Smile

Good friends share opinions and concerns with each other and are empathetic and do not interrupt.  They respect the boundaries of the friendship by going down into the 3rd and 4th level of intimacy in the relationship.  (see post from 4.20.09).

Usually good friends have some kind of “like connection” such as children in the same classroom, sports team, bible study or book club group, they take yoga class and coffee afterwards together.  This friendship will last for a season and then it will dwindle and change as the lives of the people whose “like connection” begins to evolve, move on and change.

It is good to start new friendships, keep precious ties with those we are close too and it is perfectly normal for a friendship to slowly fade away as we move on.  If the friendship is suddenly broken due to a death, a move or illness….it is  OK to mourn the death of the friendship. 

Processing this is important.  You may want to write a letter, or send an email, or do these things and not send them.  Whatever gives you closure.  Some find that journaling about it helps them to process.

This week, we have had an exploration into “Friendships”.  I would love to know what you thought about this three part blog. 

What works in your own friendships at work?

What works in your own friendships in your personal life?

What insights do you have?